wtf
The results of sex are so cliche. I've never done this (really - it's kinda sad), but even NSA sex has its emotional repercussions. Yes, some people can get away with guilt-free, feels-fantastic, would-do-it-all-the-time random sex, but really, most people I know feel some sort of remorse the next day because
A. they were too drunk.
B. they felt awkward leaving the next morning (or an hour later - whatever).
C. they really shouldn't have hooked up with that person.
Sex with someone you know and potentially love is so much worse though. Immediately all your feelings get in the way of everything, you run the risk of mistaking sex for actual intimacy, and then BOOM! You've fallen in THE SEX TRAP.
Take, for instance, the subject of having sex with a guy with a past. You know, basically every single guy ever, or at least in New York. Just because you're sleeping with him doesn't mean he doesn't still think about his ex, or worse yet, it DOES mean that you are obsessed with thinking that he still thinks about his ex. Sure, you're the new girl, you're the one sleeping with him BUT for all you know (and you don't, but you think you do), they had actual intimacy, and all you have is sex. The sex trap.
But do you have something more? You may never know because everything is clouded by your inability to see beyond the ex(s) factor. So there may very well be love, and intimacy, and something even better than he had before you. But you'll never know or believe it. You think all you are is a good lay. And if you think about that too much, you start questioning your sex skills. So despite the fact that the sex is great and you certainly do not want to give it up, it has really set you up, hasn't it? It's trapped you into a corner of insecurity and doubt, but is that anything new? I certainly don't think so, not for me.
A. they were too drunk.
B. they felt awkward leaving the next morning (or an hour later - whatever).
C. they really shouldn't have hooked up with that person.
Sex with someone you know and potentially love is so much worse though. Immediately all your feelings get in the way of everything, you run the risk of mistaking sex for actual intimacy, and then BOOM! You've fallen in THE SEX TRAP.
Take, for instance, the subject of having sex with a guy with a past. You know, basically every single guy ever, or at least in New York. Just because you're sleeping with him doesn't mean he doesn't still think about his ex, or worse yet, it DOES mean that you are obsessed with thinking that he still thinks about his ex. Sure, you're the new girl, you're the one sleeping with him BUT for all you know (and you don't, but you think you do), they had actual intimacy, and all you have is sex. The sex trap.
But do you have something more? You may never know because everything is clouded by your inability to see beyond the ex(s) factor. So there may very well be love, and intimacy, and something even better than he had before you. But you'll never know or believe it. You think all you are is a good lay. And if you think about that too much, you start questioning your sex skills. So despite the fact that the sex is great and you certainly do not want to give it up, it has really set you up, hasn't it? It's trapped you into a corner of insecurity and doubt, but is that anything new? I certainly don't think so, not for me.
posted by Cristina at 9:23 AM
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