warm sound

you can say i'm a glutton for punishment, but sometimes i try to get over my past by overexposing myself to the very memories that torture me. lately i've been doing this less, trying to avoid certain songs, journal entries, pictures, people. but then there are days, nights, when i think i can handle it, that somehow if i listen to this one album so many times, it'll once again become mine. except maybe it never was mine, it was his, ours, the us i thought mattered.

the more i think about it, the angrier i get that there are musicians i can never listen to again, ruined by this relationship or that one. will this continue to happen? today i was speaking to a recently-singled friend, who said she loses a certain amount of faith after each failed relationship. she's afraid she's becoming jaded. i fear the same thing, despite my current romantic status. i guess it doesn't matter if you're single, crushing, dating or broken up. being completely terrified is a powerful monster. i just wonder when it goes away.