um

so here's the truth. i'm afraid i'm broken. that he broke me. that i am so hurt and so...destroyed, that i wont be able to open myself up again ever again.
who i've met, who i'll meet, doesnt matter. i cannot imagine ever being with someone again, ever allowing someone to know me, to see what he saw. and to be intimate. please. the thought could not be more vomit inducing.
i've been trying. trust me, i've tried. but it's not about moving on for me now. it's about starting over. and to do that, with anyone, seems much worse than impossible.