as a girl thinketh

i've had a lot of time to think this week, after quitting school and my hospital work. i'm free, sort of, to really grasp the stuff going on around me. for once, i don't mean my mom's illness nor do i mean my love life.

my hours spent alone in my apt, packing and reading and thinking, have allowed me to explore my relationship with my friends. i believe it is crisis that tests friendships, and also really helps us all to hone in on who matters to us, and why.

it is your friends who will remind you of your worth, it is your friends who become your pillow. it's also your friends who surprise you, in both positive and negative ways. i guess it all comes with the territory.

being able to sucessfully be lonely is a little-encouraged virtue. in our search for companionship from friends or otherwise, we often forget to sit still for a second, alone, and listen to what our minds are telling us. what we want, who we want, what's best for ME. not listening enough to myself has caused me to make big mistakes, some painful and some life-altering.

i've become a pro at being alone. and i think i see things much more clearly now.
this clarity has come just in time, since in a week i will abandon my little cave for a place where i am completely surrounded, all the time. and i'm ready for the company, the outwards expression of love. i'm ready to go to Puerto Rico, finally.