i have a confession to make.

more to myself, than anyone else.
i want to move back to Puerto Rico. in a few weeks.
i've been talking it over with my brother and mom for 2 or 3 weeks. it might just be the thing to do.

i've never been more homesick in my life.

but it's not just that.
i cannot be here while my mother gets neurosurgery. i cannot be here while she has her end. i cannot be here without them.
i dont want to be here anymore. it's been like this since i got back from PR.

i've been trying to put it out of my head. i have school, responsibilities. i have santiago.
but none of that matters, really.

i need to go home. and i dont know if i'm going, but i really really want to. i cant start school again in january, in PR. i'm done with being the odd sister/daughter out.

i hate it.