gonna sip bacardi like it's your birthday

so my birthday is coming up on the 21st (turning 24, which seems WAY more legit than 23 - more adult. i'm excited). i'm usually very big on birthdays, and this year is no different. i've been talking about it for weeks and am driving everyone crazy with plans. i've decided to throw myself a party, which is a bit nerve-wracking because i usually HATE having any attention centered on me. originally it was going to be just for my core group of 10 or so friends, at my favorite bar (which happens to be next door to my apartment), but now through one thing and another, the guest list has extended to about 45 people, which completely scares me. i dont even think i know that many people in new york (although some are coming from out of town). how can i ensure that this many people will have a good time?? i just plan on getting drunk (which means the 2 people who read this can look forward to another horrific drunk post - birthday edition) and just winging it.

my alleged panic disorder can kick in.................now.