show me forgiveness
i can't even talk about the fiona concert last night. the only thing i'll mention is this:
she ended with my favorite song of hers, "parting gift." the band had left the stage, and it was just her on the piano. before she began, she said, "the people i write these angry songs about, i do think they're worthwhile, and the time i spent with them was worth it. i wrote this song for them." she paused, sighed, and began singing.
i've been trying very hard lately to think this very way. i think of old friends, old flames, and how badly things have ended, and wonder if it was all worth it. i wonder if it could ever be the way it was, if i can ever forgive them, and myself, for all that happened.
i was remembering in particular a close friend from college, with whom m. and i spent tons of time with, who after a very stupid turn of events, we completely lost touch with (on purpose). she currently lives in new york, and i often wonder what it would be like to see her. at one time, she was so involved in our lives, that it seems strange that now there's nothing.
this is the case with a few people. people who knew me inside and out, who were my everything, and are now just a name, a memory, a regret. and it's hard to forgive, both me and them, for the way things have gone. i just wish it was different. i wish i was ok with everyone i want to be ok with. that's all.
she ended with my favorite song of hers, "parting gift." the band had left the stage, and it was just her on the piano. before she began, she said, "the people i write these angry songs about, i do think they're worthwhile, and the time i spent with them was worth it. i wrote this song for them." she paused, sighed, and began singing.
i've been trying very hard lately to think this very way. i think of old friends, old flames, and how badly things have ended, and wonder if it was all worth it. i wonder if it could ever be the way it was, if i can ever forgive them, and myself, for all that happened.
i was remembering in particular a close friend from college, with whom m. and i spent tons of time with, who after a very stupid turn of events, we completely lost touch with (on purpose). she currently lives in new york, and i often wonder what it would be like to see her. at one time, she was so involved in our lives, that it seems strange that now there's nothing.
this is the case with a few people. people who knew me inside and out, who were my everything, and are now just a name, a memory, a regret. and it's hard to forgive, both me and them, for the way things have gone. i just wish it was different. i wish i was ok with everyone i want to be ok with. that's all.
posted by Cristina at 1:43 PM
1 Comments:
Hi Christina,
Sounds like you've endured a lot of pain lately and that you are struggling with the issue of forgiveness. From my experience, forgiveness is what you do for yourself. It releases you from ties that you have to painful situations or unhealthy relationships. Forgiveness doesn't mean that you forget what others have done to hurt you. But it does free you to move on from the past, to learn about life, to grow stronger, and to find your destiny. Give yourself the gift of forgiveness and best wishes to you!
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