i suck

so i was walking home, singing along (loudly) to Goldfrapp's Supernature album. i was happy, bouncy, excited.
i knew i owed my ex Matt a call, because we were supposed to get together a few weeks ago.
i call him up, he sounds pissed.
turns out i forgot his birthday in January.
i forgot the birthday of someone i dated for almost 3 years, someone who i have exceptionally deep feelings for, and who i still remember as the one i didn't know how to appreciate. i guess this proves it.
he was of course very hurt, but played it cool, saying that this basically told him everything he needed to know about our current relationship.
it was like he had stabbed me in the heart.
sometimes i surprise even myself at how self-involved i can be.