sometimes, i just hate new york.

my housing situation for this upcoming year was already iffy.
there was a potential apartment-sharing situation in the works.
as soon as that person and i decided maybe living together wouldn't be such a good idea, and as soon as i realized i really do love my apartment, and have made it into my home,
as soon as all that happened i got my new lease.

and my rent was raised by almost $150.
$150 fucking dollars more a month.
last year they raised my rent $20 a month.

this year, almost $150.

at first, my beautiful mood (that has lasted months!!) was shattered and i bawled like a tree being lifted at the roots.
then i realized this is just a reminder that i have to practice what i preach.
this apartment, this block, this neighborhood, are neutral objects that has no emotions attached to it other than those emotions i CHOOSE to attach to it.
i should look at this as an opportunity to get a bigger space for me and my pup.
a new place to make beautiful.
a chance to save some of my loan cash and use it for groceries (beef).
a chance to have people come over, and not feel like we're cramming into a cubby.

i think this can be ok.
this can be good.

breathe. it's ok. it's just an apartment.
it's just chelsea.

i am a little heartbroken though.