it's easy to forget

once upon a time someone gave me music. not like anyone else had given me music. this someone gave me lyrics and love, or what i thought was love. music is just about the only good thing i got from this someone, i thought. then the music became unbearable to listen to. and i lost that too.

where's the line with you, i would say. the line was nowhere to be found, it turned out. i cried, i blamed, i destroyed, myself mostly, and eventually created. the line was nowhere to be found with me, either. until i drew it. it was a mystery to me why this music was the most difficult of all my challenges. it was a mystery how i lost myself so profoundly.

it was not this someone's fault. it was my own. and since the greatest of pains i have been born again. those who seek forgiveness will find it, and i have found it for myself. i should have known, but i didn't. because of that music, because of that upheaval, i will now know forever.
so thank you. i see now this had nothing to do with you.
the push and pull is over, finally.